fragile

it's morning, and i am sitting alone in my living room thinking about how tenuous our grasp life is. it's that same kind of panic i have written about before i guess, but today it weighs heavy. my really good friend meredith's family is experiencing a terrible tragedy, and i can't stop thinking about it. her cousin's wife collapsed last week and turns out to have an enlarged heart, which led to a cardiac arrest and countless other complications. now, they are concerned that her higher level brain functions may be permanently impaired. i would normally not presume to write about their issues, but they have a blog on which they are posting updates about her condition, so it's already out there. and really, in this case, i think the more people praying for hyatt, the better. she needs a miracle. i have never met hyatt, but she is a young mother with two daughters--her baby is about the same age as kieran, which is probably why this is hitting so close to home for me. i believe that this is something that every mother fears. in addition to your fears for your child, you fear for yourself, because--who will take care of your baby if you can't? even if you have a plan in place, money and care provided, who will be his mother? who will love him like you would love him? it's about the worst thing i can imagine right now, short of losing the baby or his father. anyway--i am a downer on this bright sunny sunday morning. i am sad. i am overcome thinking about this family and what they might lose. and i am praying as hard as i can for them.