Tuesday, November 20, 2007
we had a level 2 ultrasound yesterday where we confirmed that all the parts are present and accounted for, everything is working like it's supposed to, and that we are indeed having a boy. kieran, not rosemary. it's a mental adjustment to let go of the idea of either gender at this point, so you know--it's a combination of excitement and disappointment. i am excited by the thought of a healthy and sturdy little hippie toddling around after his father trying to fix things with a leatherman micra and learning to sail and writing computer programs from age three. but i am also sad to lose the prospect of ribbons and dresses and knitting little lace sweaters for a girl, too. life is filled with bittersweet things like this i guess. don't get me wrong--i AM happy about the boy in spite of my desire for a girl. and mostly i am happy that he's healthy and active and robust. he's about 5 days larger than his gestational age would indicate, which is right on target for us. the hippie was over 10 pounds at birth. my brother was 11 pounds and 10 ounces. this doesn't bode so well for my comfort level, but it does mean that we don't really have any worries in the failure to thrive department either.
i'd show you some pictures from the ultrasound, but honestly they were mostly crap. we only have a few in spite of the hundreds they took--no one gave us a fabulous DVD this time--and none of them are really very clear. sad. i can tell you though--it's awesome to see him and spend so much time watching him move about. he was sucking his thumb, which was really cute. he has all his fingers and toes, we saw all the chambers of his heart, his brain, his abdominal organs, the bones in his legs and arms, his skull--all of it. it's mind-blowing.
have to get used to saying he instead of it.
and now the house is officially full of testosterone. two boy cats, a hippie, and soon, a little boy baby. i told the hippie--i am getting a fluffy girl dog and tying it's fur FULL of pink ribbons.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
anyway--check out these cute as hell babies! these are kimmie's twins, matthew and katherine. they have an older sister, caroline, who is also very cute, but who, unfortunately, i didn't take a single picture of. heck, i barely took any pictures at all on this trip--i was mostly holding babies, or feeding babies, or riding, or feeding babies, or something. i gotta say, kimmie got lucky here--these babies are good natured, adorable, smiley, and they smell good. in short--they are nearly ideal. it is my experience that matthew (my new boyfriend--sorry, hippie!) is more demanding and would mostly rather be eating than just about anything else. katherine seems more reserved and mild-mannered. clearly she thinks her older brother is bourgeois. caroline is toddling around, and appears mostly indifferent to her tiny twin siblings. she's in that phase where she's learning to talk, talking a mile a minute, and you can understand about 2/3 of what she says. she can very clearly say "backyardigans," however, and thank god for it--her love of that show probably saved our asses on the drive down. (btw, the backyardigans have my vote for cool kids' show, even though their website kind of sucks. i am not a fan of dora, who yells everything and tells lies. a riddle is NOT just a silly question, dora! but i digress...)
so that's where i was on friday--kimmie and i (with major help from the man of the house) loaded up the luggage and babies in the minivan and headed south from detroit to our hometown in western nc. the drive went FAR better than we expected. by the time we got to dayton, we had a feeding and dvd schedule all worked out. i was even able to feed both babies at once due to my extraordinarily long arms. the only down side to me is that i feel i have now had enough road food to last about 3 years. i am currently in detox mode. but i digress... so--we got into the hometown at something like 4am, at which time i fell into my parents' guest bed and slept like a dead thing till at least 9 when the parasite demanded i go eat something. kimmie, unfortunately was not as lucky. when she arrived at her parents' house, caroline decided she was up for the day. at 4am. after a 13-hour drive. i know that i will have some moments like this at some point in my future. tell me how parents resist the black market purchase of tranq guns, people. whew. she seems to have recovered. and now i am back home until next wednesday when we split town for t-day. too much travel, man.
anyway--i am on my own till friday while the hippie is off at a conference in reno. the house still seems weird to me without scout, and even weirder with no hippie. and i admit, kind of missing those babies. kimmie, if you are reading this, go kiss the peach fuzz for me.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
highlight of the day: it snowed this morning--so pretty to watch out the window with a baby sleeping on my lap.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Monday, November 05, 2007
note: i DID manage to update the baby blog if y'all are interested... i can't decide whether to keep my ramblings about pregnancy over there or integrate back into one blog now that the word is out. any opinions?
Sunday, November 04, 2007
i'm tired. i think i should maybe shut up.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
when i met scout, she had recently been hurt--trapped under a car and burned on her back--and was a bit wary of strangers. she was also the most vocal meower i had ever seen. after a bit of time, she learned that i was a cat person, and she started meeting me at my car when i would pull in, meowing for a scratch or two. in the other half of my duplex, a botany grad student sheri and her dog billie moved in. billie and scout were fast friends and took to sleeping ina pile on out front porch. even jojo, my former cat who hated everyone, took a liking to scout--they communed through the windows onto the porch. scout was just--part of life. not everyone treated her well--the frat boys down the street did SOMETHING to scout that made her panic when she was picked up--i don't know what, and i don't WANT to know. but she never ever wanted to be picked up--she fought tooth and nail if you tried. literally.
years passed. kathy met a man and got married. she moved away and took all eight cats with her. a couple of months later, there was a familiar meowing from the porch--scout had come back. she was starving and bedraggled and in a sad state. i went out and fed her, petted her, and supplied her with water. she stayed. she got better and fatter and happy again. i had jojo in the house, and scout outside. then jojo had a heart attack--she was sitting on my lap purring one minute and gone the next. i was shocked and devastated and unprepared, but in retrospect, that was about the best pet death one could ever hope for. by this time i had graduated from school and was thinking about moving out of the ghetto--the time seemed right. i made plans to move to an apartment complex in a newly developing area. but what was i going to do with scout? i didn't really feel ready to take on another pet, but i could not just leave her to starve either. i called every no-kill pet shelter and rescue i could fine, and no one would take her because her ear was clipped. it still shocks me that something the aspca had done to the cat rendered her un-adoptable to every rescue place on the map. so--i did what i had to--i kept the cat.
in one day, i changed scout's life forever. i lured her into the house and closed the door behind her. the same afternoon, i took her to the vet for shots and a check-up. she was healthy as a horse they said. scout and i moved away from maiden lane at last. she howled like a banshee the whole way to the new place and hid under the bed for a week. but she adjusted. she came out and interacted with me and slept on the bed at night, but it was clear that she was lonely. she had never been alone in her whole life. so--i decided to get scout a kitten. when a man i work with brought in a litter of 8 kittens his girlfriend had rescued from a madman, i immediately told him i wanted one. instead, as happens with people like me who are ultra-susceptible to the cute, i came away with two, samson and fergus. the difference in scout was night and day. fergus was, and still is, scout's cat. he was her shadow, her annoyer, and her constant companion. and scout--scout became one of the best cats i have ever known. affectionate, loving, happy, vocal, content. she loved other animals and children, and she was patient and tolerant of everyone. she was a slut for pleasure and adored anyone who would sit on the couch and absentmindedly stroke her silky fur. she liked to be between the hippie and me best of all--this is where she spent every moment possible for the past 4 and a half years. she was a cat who just made good company.
over the past three weeks, we noticed that she was losing some weight, but she didn't seem sick at all. cats are really good at masking symptopms, as it turns out. this is the first time in her life that scout has ever been sick, and i guess the last as well. it was just too much to fight. when they told me what was wrong, all i wanted to do was bring her home, and i am so glad i did. her last night was spent sleeping with me, and her last day was spent napping on her favorite blanket, purring the time away on the couch. when we took her in, she was calm and not afraid. and at the vet's office, i let her out of the carrier, and she snuggled down between me and the hippie and purred and licked my hand. when the doctor came in, he was surprised to find her purring. it was simple and fast and painless, for which i will forever be grateful. i know we did the right thing. and although it is AWFUL to lose her, i am glad she could die with dignity and without suffering.
the past two weeks have been terrible. the last few days, some of the worst i have ever experienced in my life. but i weigh this sadness against the years of happiness and all the joy that scout brought into my life, and i have to say--it is all worth it. she was the best cat ever. and oh, how i loved her. i will never forget the feel of her thick soft fur or the sound her loud-ass meowing or her warm comforting presence by my side. i will miss her every day.
i am grateful for the support of everyone over the past week. it's amazing what an impact a pet can have on you and how hard it is to lose one. they really do become members of your family. people get this, it seems--they come out of the woodwork to offer prayers and condolences. the original vet who saw scout yesterday called to see how she was and how i was and what had happened. two of my amazingly good friends figured out where scout had been hospitalized and called to make donations to help cover her massive bill--that was a shock when i went to pay the bill yesterday. unexpected and generous, unnecessary, but utterly appreciated. i have good friends, what can i say. i love you guys.
ok--i am going to stop now--i guess this is something like a wake for the kitty, it's a damned shame i can't drink a bunch of beer in scout's honor--i totally would if i weren't knocked up.
Friday, November 02, 2007
Thursday, November 01, 2007
2) i'm knocked up. i'vee been quietly blogging about it on the side over here. i'll link that blog in in the side bar when i get a minute.
3) my cat, scout is very very sick and probably dying. i am depressed as shit and am in hermit mode as a result. blah.
4) i have pictures and all kinds of news and shit. a lot's been happening, as evidenced by my conspicuous absense from this here internet. it's coming people. be patient with me.
did i say blah already? if not, then--blah.