used to be...

i used to design textiles. it was a lovely and rewarding and creative thing to be able to do for a living, an i am unbelievably glad for the experience of it. here's one of my designs:

last night, i had dinner with an old friend from the industry, one of only a tiny handful of people i know doing this now and possibly the best working relationship of my whole life. she's great, and seeing her was awesome--she is in NC for the high point furniture market, which is a shadow of its former self, but still important to the shreds of the american furniture world. but--we were talking about the state of the profession in the united states today, and friends--it is bleak. i know this, and have known since NAFTA passed that the textile industry in this country had numbered days. in fact, it's a huge part of why i left the industry when i did to go back to school. there were many reasons, but that was one of them. anyway. it's depressing as hell to me that this once great profession and industry, once something like the 3rd largest in our country, was basically handed over to other countries on a silver platter by our own government. where was the bailout money then? further, what are all those people i knew in the 6 years i spent in that industry now doing for work? i can count on one hand the ones still affiliated with textiles. there's no going back, i don't think, and it's woefully depressing.

today a friend from my current job, which is not at all creative, sent me a link to the website and blog of a wonderful woman in australia, and she said to me--i think this woman has your dream job. and she does. it's bittersweet to find things like this. on one hand, i LOVE her work, and i find her life inspiring. on te other, i am just not sure that kind of thing is even possible right now in the united states. i know people do it, but the ones who do always seem to have some other means of financial support and an etsy shop on the side instead of making a living designing beautiful things.

*sigh* i am not looking for a solution or huge insight here. i am just feeling a little melancholy today for the career that was and can never be again. i'll get over it.