last night, or really, i guess it was this morning, finn woke up to eat. usually when he does this, he eats, and we go right back to sleep. however, this morning he woke at 3:32am, ate, and then was just--awake. not fussy, or upset, or even energetic and playful--just awake. the windows were open, and there was a soft, cool breeze blowing in. i stood up with him and held him in my arms and swayed, and he was calm and cuddly, and we just swayed and looked out the window at the half-light, and felt the breeze on our faces for about 40 minutes until he went back to sleep at last. and oddly, i feel kind of refreshed after that interlude, despite the crazed hour at which it took place. i feel almost as though i have been meditating at an eastern retreat--centered and more ready for the day than usual.
with two small children, a job, a man in the house, and a thousand things to do every day, it's not often that i have 40 consecutive minutes of quiet like that. it's not often that finn has 100% of my attention either, with everything else always going on. i can't say i want him to start consistently waking up at 3:30 int he morning, but once in a while? that's ok with me if i get that calm, sweet time once in a while.
it's been a long, difficult winter at chez jones-coposky. perhaps this is a sign that spring is finally here, we're all on the mend, and that we are about to have a period of peace. please, universe!