three and a half

i listen to kieran playing, and i am stunned. he's enacting a play of his own devising in the living room floor. trucks are involved. dinosaurs, too. a recycling truck is central to the drama, as is a flatbed truck, many race cars, and a monster truck or two. apparently it's crucial that all the monster trucks be lined up all the way across the living room floor because there is to be a parade later. there are many voices and names that come up in the course of his play. my baby is totally gone, and there is, in his place, a rambunctious and vivacious little boy with many very strong opinions. his name, he tells me, is NOT kieran, but rather, ribbon. he's a nice t-rex. also a firefighter. sometimes. he hugs me with impulsive ferocity. he lashes out with a willfulness that i almost can't believe--i have to remind myself not to be hurt by it as i throw him in into yet another time out. then he turns around and makes me laugh so hard! he pretends to eat the whole town as we drive through, but assures me he's just teasing. he's constantly on the move, and prefers to be either outside running as hard as he can or inside playing with all his stuff. he's not all that into drawing or group participation--he prefers imaginative play and reading books and watching british television and dinosaur train. he knows the names of many dinosaurs along with what they eat and all their physical characteristics. he tells me they lived on the earth many years ago, but that they are now extinct. he has real friends at school, and other kids he likes less. he hates playing in the water, and is grateful that summer is over so no one is trying to make him do it. he is as stubborn as a rock. he loves one-on-one attention from either me or the hippie. he tries to take care of his little brother, while simultaneously keeping finn off his stuff and out of his games. he's learning to share. he has  favorite colors, favorite foods, and favorite toys. he loves his cats. he prefers vanilla to chocolate. where he goes, his hippo goes as well. he likes cuddles at night, no matter how his day has gone. he's a little bit afraid of shadows. in the end, he's a whole little complete person, and i love him so much i can't breathe when i look at him.