cocksnobbery

i was talking to a friend the other day about being a snob. she said, "i think i am a snob." and i was like--you are SO not a snob! we are not snobs. but then i have been thinking about it, and now i wonder. where is the line between just wanting to be around people you know you will get along with, people with similar educations, backgrounds, interests, tastes, and/or intelligence levels and just plain being a sbob?

i guess my attitude goes something like this:

1. anyone deserves a chance, no matter what your first impression is.
2. you can't tell shit about a person by looking at them. this includes guesses you may be making about their income, education, intelligence, taste, etc. you have to talk to them for a while to see what they are about. but man, sometimes it is hard to remember that and not prejudge.
3. every person you meet can teach you something. most times they can make you see something in a new way, which is always good. once in a while all you learn is that inbreeding is bad, but hey--that is certainly an important lesson.
   
4. there is nothing wrong with gravitating to people who are similar to you in attitude, education, etc. i mean, you are the way you are because that is what you want to be, right? so why would it make sense that you would surround yourself with people who were utterly dissimilar? what will you talk about if you have nothing at all in common?

and if we take this into the realm of romance, then i think you are under no obligation to date a person who does not have enough in common with you. even if you like and respect a person and have started dating him/her because he/she has qualities you like, you are under no obligation to stay with that person if you come to recognize that his/her personal educational, financial, and stylistic goals don't meet what you have always wanted for yourself and your potential children. and no--i don't think that makes you a snob. it is not like you are saying to the person--you do not measure up. you are saying--you are not the right person for me. and that is important to say if it is true, no matter what the reason. a relationship has to be a meeting of equals or it will never work.

and yes, i think this attitude can be carried too far, and then you leave the realm of the stongly opinionated and cross the line into cocksnobbery. the catty comments begin, and all sense of human decency and mutual respect is lost. it's so easy to do and can, perhaps unfortunately, be pretty damned entertaining.

for example, every day i look at the daily photo over at dooce.com, and every day, i think to myself--cool picture, but jeezus these are some inane comments!!! i really don't know what these people are thinking, and i don't care a whit if i ever meet any of them. if i were dooce, i would be rolling my eyes. hell, i AM rolling my eyes, and it's not even my site! i have always had a problem with stupid people. does that make me a snob? maybe...

so am i a snob? i don't think so, but hey--you be the judge.