Thursday, December 14, 2006
directions for addressing christmas cards
2. prepare tea
3. clear off table for illusion of cleanliness so that messes are less distracting (i.e., put stuff from table in chairs and shove under table to hide from self)
4. acquire dessert and have it standing by
5. play christmas music at suitable volume for christmas card writing--keep remote for stereo handy in case of phone call or violent mood swing
6. open card boxes and set cards up slightly for maximum efficiency
7. lay headset nearby so that phone calls do not interrupt writing
8. pull extra chair over for cats so that they don't jump into the middle of the cards to get attention and spill tea all over everything in sight(learned from experience)
9. put hippie in back room with computer hardware to avoid hippie-related distractions
10. write until carpal tunnel declares a cease fire
repeat 10 steps each evening until all cards are ready to mail.
if further instruction is required, please click on figure a, which has notes to clarify questions about the proper setup.
i also noticed that all the cards we have received from friends have snowflake stamps, all the cards from family have flag stamps, and all the cards from people outside our normal card-sending group have religious stamps. i have no idea yet what this means, but i am working on it.