Tuesday, May 02, 2006

always a bridesmaid...

did i mention that the hippie and i are attending 5 weddings this year? five!!! a lot of weddings. i am officially in one of them (eric and kylie's) as of this past sunday. so's the hippie, which means i will get to see him in a tux, which i am sure he will ROCK. i am looking forward to that. anyway--i swore off buying bridesmaids dresses a while ago, but i kind of knew it wouldn't last. as of sunday, i am the proud owner of a blue, tea-length satin number with a little grosgrain bow in the front. this means i own bridesmaids dresses in yellow, black, ice blue, red, purple, blue, and god knows what else. someday i will just cut them all up and make a really expensive quilt. the bottom line is that it's not possible to say no to a bride who loves you and needs help when you love her and want to help anyway. i am that bridesmaid who has a comb, some safety pins, krazy glue, bobby pins, lipstick, clear nail polish, and double-sided tape on her person, as well as three different sizes of curling irons plugged in somewhere, just in case. i always end up straighting and tugging and pulling and pinning everyone in site on the days that my friends get married. i am the thrower of showers and bachelorette parties. i am the driver and the personal shopper. i am that person you want with you when you are dress shopping because i will tell you if you look fabulous or of that chiffon train is making your ass look a mile wide. i know my fabrics and can tell you if you are getting ripped off. i can bake your wedding cake. i am your errand runner, and i will shield you from your mean relatives, if you have any. what i am NOT is photogenic. you do NOT want me in your wedding pictures. the only picture i own from my best friend's wedding (hi alyce) is a picture of me in full bridesmaid regalia with WAY too many bobby pins in my hair (i look scalped) and her her standing perfectly still with her arms out, her head wrapped in tulle*, her dress on but not quite right yet, and my hand down the front of the dress lifting her boob into place. boy howdy it's flattering. but in the end, i guess these are my friends, so they know what they are getting when they ask me to put on the dress. it's nice to be wanted. :)

* to protect the dress from her makeup. yes, i brought it with me. it was leftover from the sex kitten veil i made for her bachelorette party.

4 comments:

Meredith said...

So, um, if you have sworn of bridesmaid dresses, would you say no if I were to ask you to be in my fictional wedding someday? :)

The bridesmaid's dress that you just bought is actually quite pretty, I think. The ones I own are MUCH worse than that. One is Pepto Bismol Pink (TM)...

jackie said...

like i said, i KNEW it wouldn't last! i would CERTAINLY be in your wedding if you wanted me there. yours too, sam. :)

and yes, this dress is actually quite lovely on. the blue is much nicer in person than on david's website, and the cut of it is absolutely flattering, although i will always be self-conscious about my nasty arms. oh well... over all--i have been VERY lucky on the dress-front. my friends, they have excellent taste.

Samantha said...

Thanks man, if I ever got married, I think I'd have a really hard time doing it up big time, I've never really thought of it or how it would go...but surely the beach or vegas have bans on bridesmaid dresses in general. :-)

Anonymous said...

not my bridesmaid, but i can vouch for the curling irons, toothpaste, champagne and mascara (New Year's Eve, Jackie:) And as the hippies mom, may i say, sure wouldn't mind ya being a bride!
BTW, the beach at the Coral Hamaca in Santo Domingo is a great place for weddings, saw one there once.~Denise