Friday, August 20, 2004

gender roles

the hippie and i have noticed that we fall rather naturally into very distinct, traditional gender roles. our friends notice it. and the other night, it was very very apparent that our friends jenn and harry do the same. i mean, we went to their house for dinner, which was grilled by the men, after being prepared by the women. then after dinner--jenn put the baby to bed and i started knitting while the boys retired to the deck for pipe/ceegar smoking, and some scotch drinking on the hippie's part. and then jenn came back and we both knitted.

the hippie was telling me later that he and harry were on the porch talking about how cute it was that we were knitting, and how they both get a sense of satisfaction out of us being so girlie. funny--i get a sense of satisfaction out of him doung "guy things" as well.

and yes, i am pretty comfortable with this. it is bizarre to me HOW comfortable i am with it. i mean, i have multiple degrees and have always been pretty damned independent. but this last year and a half with the hippie, i have learned that there is a bit of joy in codependence. i LIKE our gender roles. i like that i do most of the cooking and he does most of the heavy lifting. i like that i make the drinks for our friends who are over while he entertains them. i like the whole set-up, and how much i feel like he is taking care of me, while i am taking care of him.

the weird thing is that i feel no less a feminist for all this. i am glad i have choices in things, and that i have had the opportunity to do what i want with my life. i am grateful to the women who came before me for fighting so that i could have those choices. i am glad i have the same rights and the same power as he does. i like that he listens to me and that he respects my brain even while he is grabbing my ass.

i like that this weekend, harry and the hippie are off having a boys weekend, playing D&D, going to hooters, and probably seeing something awful like alien vs. predator (which i will get out of going to see thank god!!!), while jenn and i get to be girls and go on a ninja ikea run.

this is a great time to be a girl. you get to have it all.

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