Tuesday, April 19, 2005

tales of woe and moments of dumbassery

let's just call yesterday a shitty day. it started with a nightmare (literally), and ended with a fight. not a good day. the evening was a VAST improvement, as i declared it a fuckit evening, and dragged the hippie out for some fried oysters and beer. you tell me what fried oysters and beer can't fix? especially when you can walk to them and especially when you have a fantastic and extremely Southern waiter. when the hippie was done, the waiter did not ask him if everything had been to his satisfaction--he said, and i quote, "hey brother, you get enough?" god how i love the South sometimes.

this morning, i had another nightmare about my friend kimmie's wedding. in this one, i forgot my shoes and my dress, and came to the church with nothing but a make-up bag. i went back home, grabbed everything, only to put it all on to realize that the skirt was about 5 inches too long and the top was too tight to zip up. imagine the panic. and then to add to my woe, my toes were sporting a blazing red rather than the sedate french pedicure kimmie has specified for this event. i literally woke up in a panic. so of course i got up immediately and put everything on to make sure it was all just a dream, and wonder of wonders, the whole thing fits better than it ever has before--the waistband on that skirt is actually kind of LOOSE! this, folks, is a miracle! i DO need some larger boobs for this top i will be wearing, but luckily i can fake that with a few pieces of well-placed underwear.

as for the dumbassery, that also took place this morning as we stopped for a muffin on the way to work. i locked the keys in the car. with the car running. moron. and the hippie was all pissed, and i was all feeling stupid, and it sucked. thank god for brian who bailed us out. the hippie now has the spare key in his pocket in case of future stupid tricks like this one. yes, it has happened before...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You have to get a french pedicure???

--M

jackie said...

yes, it's true--a french pedicure AND a manicure. i am just hoping the manicure makes it. i am hell on my hands, and usually chip any polish within about 5 minutes.

k the uncool kid said...

the manicure looked wonderful....what other color would have worked with the hue of the dress?

jackie said...

thanks! i am still it survived! i am totally ok with the french manicure, but i admit i was hoping for purple toes--OPI has a polish that is the same color as the dresses. it's called fi fie fo plum. :)