Tuesday, February 27, 2007

painting and packing

since we closed on the house last friday, i have been alternating days--one at the new house painting, the next at our apartment packing. i have (with help) managed to get a coat of paint on the living room and kitchen and to finish painting the dining room at the new house. at the old house, i have caught up with laundry, packed six boxes of books, and knitted half the front of a baby sweater. oh yeah, i also went to the grocery store and made dinner for sunday and monday, lunch through tomorrow, and breakfast each day.

this is so weird, to be disassembling what has been my home for four years, the first home i shared with the hippie, and simultaneously nesting like a mama bird at the new house. it's an emotional roller coaster--let me tell you.

i LOVE the new house--i am SO excited about it! while i am there, i plot and plan, and spend thousands of dollars in my head. i picture it filled with firends and our things. i imagine paintings i will finally have the room to create. i can't wait to have a housewarming party. i am having a GREAT time arguing with the hippie about colors, and i adore painting it and making it feel like my own. i think we will be in this house for a long, long time.

and then i come home, and i am so sad for the little kitchen i have become so accustomed to, and for all the trees i am moving away from, and for the flowers in my yard. i am sad that the cats won't have all the squirrels and birds on the front porch to watch. i am loathe to leave my upstairs neighbor, who is a fabulous woman and who doesn't yet know that we are moving away. i drive up in front of our little house and i want to cry. and the packing--well, that's always something of a sentimental journey.

i guess this is normal. i am definitely a person who gets attached to a place, and i am a person who also loves to dream and think about the future. anyway. i have no real point here--i just wanted to share how awesome and how hard of a time i am having.


Laura said...

Jackie I'm exactly the same way about "places". I get so attached to the corners and nics in the wood and worn places on the railings and chewed places on the windowsills. Thankfully for you, you're moving to a new place that you will bond with. It's hard to leave the old happy place behind but oh so exciting to open a new chapter in your life. Enjoy the happy and the sad about the new changes. :)

Anonymous said...

you know i relate and empathize. thoughts and prayers with you! love~mom

gray la gran said...

your mom is so sweet! aren't moms cool that way?!
here's some happy thoughts for you: home improvement, when you do that, it's yours, not your landlord's! a dishwasher!!!! a bigger and better refrigerator!!!! lots of monster doors ... that scare me and fascinate little miss G. and you will certainly hang all kinds of bird feeders and the critters will find you and your kitties again :)
oh! and a garden ... heirloom tomatoes !!! jalapenos!!! herbs !!! and the light will stay strong and steady while we knit ;)

Anonymous said...

it's great to have such great thoughts and dreams about the new place. and, also great that you guys have such fond memories of the old place. the fact that you're feeling bittersweet about leaving the old place just shows what great times you had there - i'm glad you're leaving someplace good for something better; that's always a good way to go out! love ya, kimmie

Anonymous said...

i'm glad you've had such great memories in your old place - that way, you're leaving someplace good to move onto to something better; that's always the best way to go out! love ya, kimmie

jackie said...

thanks for all the good thoughts, folks. i am glad i am not the only one who feels this way!

gray, that's jason's mom in that comment up there--how cool is that? sometimes i think she likes me more than my own mother does! ;)

it's a packing night, so i am probably going to revel in some more maudlin stuff tonight. however, tomorrow i get to paint! whoo hoo!

gray la gran said...

well, jason's mom shoots from the hip ! (or from the kitchen window!)
jackie, just keep breathing. float. breathe. float ..... and paint ....