death by email

crate and barrel has just sent me the eleventy-hundredth email i have received from them this holiday season. the first line is, in HUGE red letters, wwith many explanation marks:

ONLY 72 HOURS LEFT!!!

are they actually TRYING to kill me?

successful shopping + cute and well-dressed children expedite the ebb of hostility

last night after work i went to the mall with a list, a plan, and a route planned out. i made a tremendous amount of headway with minimal pain. amazing. i was really prepared for a walk through the seventh level of hell, but it was instead, surprisingly pleasant. the mall was full of beautifully dressed little children having their pictures taken with santa, and all that cuteness didn't hurt. no one was mean or rude to me the whole time i was there, even after i had so many packages that, between them and my giant belly, i was having trouble navigating the aisles in the stores. i even had some extra niceness from a handful of clerks in a couple of my favorite stores. amazing. so let's just say--i am in a WAY better mood today. i think my hostility is abating a little bit...

somewhere in the drive home from my last stop, i hit a wall of tiredness so significant that i think i could have just pulled over and spent the night on the side of the road less than a mile from my house. it's kind of amazing. when my body is done these days, it's just DONE. no arguing. i had grand plans to get a bunch of packing done last night so i could ship stuff today, but alas--this did not happen. so people far away from me? your shit is going to be late. the end. i have done my best, but i am sorry to say, i have failed you. tomorrow i will make a massive post office run, and we will see what makes it and what doesn't. my hopes, they are not high. oddly enough, i am not that stressed out about this for once in my life. i have done what i can, and now--wahtever... these people know that i love them and that my life is insane, and they will understand when things are not on time. i will run the rest of my errands this weekend, i will fill my house with people i love and fabulous little girls who i will turn loose with cookies and icing and sprinkles, and i will wrap things and knit things for the entire two days before christmas. and after tomorrow, i am off work for over a week. i can't wait.

my one last lingering annoyance is that the etsy order that i placed almost a month ago is still not here. i have tried to contact the seller, but have received no response, which is a bit of a disappointment. there's nothing i can do about it but hope the stuff eventually shows up, but it sure does suck. maybe those can be next year's presents.

jackie goes postal

today my friend tina and i went to carolina cafe where we often meet for lunch--it gets super crowded, so we go early, snag a table and get in line. one table had 4 laptops on it, so we assumed ppl are sitting there, right? but in the WHOLE time we were there, no one sat down there. and then a guy from the next table over, got up, picked up a cell phone from that empty table, and sat back down. it turned out that 4 business guys were having a meeting over lunch at the next table, and they left their laptops at the table beside them, a booth at a prime location in the restaurant. there were at least 5 groups of ppl are standing around with nowhere to sit, holding their food. people kept checking to see if that booth was occupied. these guys finished their food, then move back over into the table with the laptops just as we were leaving, and i lost my shit. i told them they should win some kind of rudeness award, and that i thought sometimes something just needed to be said to people who acted like that. they were hostile of course, and one of them even tried to deny that they had been occupying the table next to them. at that point, i ALMOST started talking smack about their mamas, but then i decided that would just put me on their level. i don't usually lose it at people like that, but this time i just could not help it. it was all i could do not to yell, "happy motherfucking holidays, assholes!" as i walked out the door. but i showed some restraint. go me.

don't even listen to me--i'm too whiney to be tolerated

today i am not a people person. i am irritable and stressed and just want to go home. i am annoyed that i ordered all this stuff for christmas ages ago, and none of it is here. this makes my presents to others late, which i hate, but what can i do? i have no backup plan for what to do if my presents fail to arrive. nor do i have a backup budget laying around. *sigh* i am sick of work, sick of having no time, sick of being tired, and sick of hearling myself whine about it all. i have road rage, and i want someone to bring me a really good cup of tea right now. i guess this is just "one of those days". i am certainly ready for it to be over. blah.

gettin' there...

christmastime's a comin', people. who's ready? certainly not yours truly, although i am running to catch up as fast as i can! slowly, slowly, i am getting it done. i finally mailed all the christmas cards today. i have at least SOME presents, although i have wrapped not a single one. and i am so sad--i placed a big etsy order in november, and i have yet to see that stuff. there was something in there i was hoping to give this weekend, but alas--that will not happen. and i have SO MUCH shipping to do! whew! let's just say, i am really glad i decided not to knit presents this year--there's no way i would have had time to do it. strangely enough, i am not as stressed as i usually would be at being this behind. i am feeling almost human again for the first time in weeks, and we have plans to go to our favorite big holiday party this weekend. PLUS, there's an ikea run on the table for sunday afternoon--an added bonus. i can't say enough how much i love the ikea. it's filled with awesomeness. affordable aweseomness! but i digress... there's a tree in the house, and boy, it's a BEAST of a tree. the hippie put the lights on (because he loves me), and they have been on there for almost a week. the ornaments (my job) remain wrapped and packed. the tree skirt? still in storage. but there's a tree, by god. apparently the poor hippie is stuck in work hell, so it seems we may be trapped in NC until in the morning. maybe i'll just go on home and put some ornaments on that there tree, and maybe wrap a present or two, and i don't know--pack for the weekend. y'all have a good one, too. :)

half way home

check out the belly! last friday was the 20 week mark for my pregnancy--half way home. it's still almost impossible for me to believe, even though, as you see, i have the belly to show for it. i am starting to accumulate baby stuff, which continues to freak out both the hippie and me. and yet--it's so freakin' cute, it's hard not to be a little excited about it now. it's a strange thing--i am still too nervous to be all excited. i guess everyone reacts differently. i have spent the past couple of years trying to accept NOT having any children, and here i am, about to have one. it's a tremendous mind shift. of course, i firmly believe that my baby will be the strongest and best and smartest baby ever born. of course i look forward to that smell of his little fuzzy head and to holding him asleep on my chest like a bean. but it's also so scary. i never knew what a mix of emotions i would be feeling if this ever happened to me! it's so overwhelming sometimes. the hippie is handling it all better than i am, but i think some of that is just because he's less emotional than me. it's fun, it's distracting as hell, it's nerve-wracking,a nd yes, it's exciting, too. especially now that i can feel him moving all the time. he's active, and it's not as weird as i thought it would be. in a way, it's such a comfort, him moving around. it's reassuring me that he's ok and that he's here with me. one of my best friends was telling me that it felt in some ways like a loss when her son was born, not to have him fluttering inside anymore--kind of lonely. i can totally see that. but i digress... the news of being half way is--the plague is nearly gone but for a cough i can't quite shake, and the nausea is mostly abated with a few early morning exceptions here and there. i am mostly ok, if still a bit tired. so far, so good. i have another doctor's appointment this week, in which i will certainly get to hear his heartbeat again. i look forward to that every time. :)

giant red cat brush

we've got a new sofa--it came in the day before thanksgiving, and it's beautiful, and i love it, and it looks fabulous with our new rug. but there's a wee little problem. the fabric is brushed canvas--we picked a canvas because we thought it would hold up better to the cat claws that live with us--and it's doing that beautifully. however, the word "brushed" apparently has some unforseen consequences. brushed canvas has a bit of a knap to it. which means that when the kitties come and lay upon the new divan (read: always), the fabric is brushing their fur and clinging to it like freakin' fly paper. i've been vacuuming the thing twice a week. looks fantastic for about--oh--three minutes or so, until the cats are all--"hey, thanks for cleaning up the new couch for us--that was really getting nasty there. you, with the thumbs, come over here and pet us. and maybe a treat?" little bastards are getting fur all over my new couch. i guess nothing's perfect. that said--the new sofa has passed the sick test--i've been on it pretty much all week and my verdict is Damned Comfy.

getting back to human

i am finally starting to feel better, although now i have these amazing 20-minute coughing runs that just seem never to end about 5 times a day. i sound like a frog, and i'm sniffly, and this is such a vast improvement over how i was feeling a few days ago that i feel like dancing. the bad news is that all this time on the couch has resulted in little knitting--you would think i would have done more, but alas, i was not up to it. my focus has been for shit, and i have been trying to use what brain power i've got to keep up with work. that said, i could get used to working from the couch. i get way more done from home than i do at work--i wonder why that is... less distraction maybe. also, maybe as sense of guilt for being comfy on the couch instead of sitting in the flourescent world of corporate america? anyway, i'm rambling.

in other and better and more interesting news, i felt The Parasite moving for the first time night before last, and again last night. looks like he's on his way to being nocturnal like his father. i can't wait for the land shark phase when the hippie will be able to feel it too. :)

this just in: being sick blows

and here's the thing--it's even worse when you are pregnant. i'm sick. the hippie has given me the plague he had last week, and it's dig in for the long haul, it appears. i had all these plans for the weekend--fun things like getting a christmas tree and re-organizing all of the books--and yet, no. i spent the weekend not breathing, napping, drinking tea, and apparently overdosing on sudafed. don't owrry--sudafed is on my very short list of crap i can take if i am all congested. however, who know that a dose was one tiny little insignificant pill. further, let me point out that at least two are required for the medication to have any effect. iam thinking maybe one pill is enough for a 100-pound girl, but not for yours truly. that shit just doesn't work. but anyway. now i am taking--oh--nothing. i am sitting on the couch, wishing for enough energy to knit or something, and dyikng to be able to breathe. BLAH. i am whiney and annoyed and useless. lucky for me, my immune system is down a bit from being pregnant, so it should take me longer to get over this nasty cold. maybe tomorrow i will get past the point of being able to feel my heartbeat in my sinuses at least. y'all, this sucks. and it's making me miss scout even worse--she always sat with me when i was sick. blah blah blah. i am going to shut up as i am disgusting myself with the whining.