Wednesday, January 25, 2006

things on my mind

thinking about knitting. why do i love it so much? i think it's because it's creative and has a product to show at the end that is actually useful. i think it's because it's one of those things that's easy to do, but not so easy to do well, so it keeps challenging me. plus i like giving gifts, and hand-knitted things make great ones. like all my hobbies, i just wish i had more time to give to it.

thinking about all these babies everyone keeps having. we are up to 5 so far this year. i have mixed feeling on the whole thing. so happy for my friends and the hippie's friends who are starting families. more than a little jealous. happy to have an excuse to make baby things, which i love. what's cuter than baby things???

thinking about my hate of the working out and how much harder it seems to get with each passing day i don't do it. i feel weak, and i hate it. yet, where is my motivation to do it? i think it's buried somewhere in self-consciousness. i wish i could just walk out of my life for 6 months, spend all that time alone with nothing but exercise equipment and fresh vegetables, come back all svelte and healthy. blah.

thinking about blogs. thinking about blogs that win awards and become nationally recognized. what is it that makes people read them? are we all voyeuristic at heart? is it like watching reality TV, only actually real? i know what makes me write, but sometimes i am not sure what makes me read. maybe it's just a need to connect, even if remotely. one thing's for sure--these blog things are addictive. even the person who keeps telling me my blog is boring continues to read--maybe he's hoping for more...

thinking about the next big thing. what am i going to do with myself next? i have books to read to help me figure it out, but i keep procrastinating reading them. what's THAT all about? this job? it's ok and all, but my brain is starting to atrophy. i was drawing little vegetables this weekend, missing my textile design job so much that it was actually hard to breathe for a second. i miss doing work i felt was valuable. i really gotta look into getting back into some of that.

anyway. it's kind of a blah day for no real reason at all. maybe it's because i feel like thse shoes don't go with these pants i'm wearing. *sigh*


Samantha said...

I'm thinking we need a drink or 4 so that we can stop thinking about all this bullshit. :-) I know life isn't suppose to be easy, but really, we could all use alittle lottery winnings now and then.

Kristin said...

Buck up, little camper! Life sucks sometimes. You rock!