rant: loud ass cat

when you are sick as a dog and barely able to breathe, and sleep is not coming easily, the LAST thing you need to hear through the darkness is a cat licking itself at about 75k decibels! scout is the LOUDEST ANIMAL ON THE PLANET!!! first, she meows. she meows the minute she can see the bottom of her food bowl and does not stop till you fill that bitch back up to the brim. this can start at 1 am, 7 am, 2 in the afternoon--just whenever that ceramic shows through. she meows for attention, she meows to call the other cats, she meows when she can't find you. and worse than that--she LICKS HERSELF CONSANTLY! i mean ALL-THE-TIME. if i could spell the sound of the licking, i would describe it for you in greater detail. suffice it to say that it is LOUD, and PERSISTENT, and involves a lot of wet, squishy sounds, repeated over and over and over and over again. and at 4 am, this elicits thoughts like, "i will KILL that cat! i will. one more lick and she's toast." last night i threw four pillows at her--i admit it. if anyone needs a new cat, just let me know. she's real sweet when she's quiet. really.