Saturday, November 11, 2006

detoxification

fridge with magnets
when i move into a new rental place, i am skeeved out by things the previous tenants may have left. if there's anything at all in the place, i trash it without question, and then i clean the shit out of everything in sight. then as i love there, i maintenance clean. i tend to be pretty clean, although a bit cluttery. (people i went to college with, y'all are not allowed to comment on that statement!) but every once in a while, something will suddenly have become utterly filthy without me noticing. does this happen to you, too? today i needed to put a vase away. the vase needed to go into the cabinet over the refridgerator. so i dragged a chair over, climbed up to move the stuff on the top of the fridge out of the way so i could open the cabinet door. and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! the grease! the dust in the grease! the cat hair in the dust in the grease! it was vile vile vile! and what WAS all that stuff on top of there anyway?
contents safe for consumption

vodka
a bottle of cheap champagne i know has gotten cold and then wamr again one too many times for consumption, some old grocery lists, an outdated can of pineapple juice--in a word: crap. so. i threw it all away. cleaned the top of the fridge. then the sides. i had to move some magnets to clean the side, and then before i knew it, i had removed ALL the magnets so i could clean the whole thing. then i was like--well--i bet the inside's no better if i really look. and boy--it wasn't! i threw away 4 grocery bads full of stuff, took everything out of the fridge, washed it all, and put it all back in an organized manner. two and a half hours after needing to put one vase away, i have a clean fridge, and most of the magnets are back on there. (we like magnets, what can i say?) nothing in there will kill you now, i promise. well--maybe the vodka will if you drink it all! check out how much vodka i have in the freezer, and please keep in mind that the hippie doesn't even LIKE vodka! (he does have some scotch, though--let me tell ya.) (and a whole keg of beer.) (but i digress...) but dude, i NEED all these kinds of vodka, so i don't want to hear a word about it.

now, i know i am going to catch shit from rick and tom about writing boring domestic posts, but this is how i spent my saturday, y'all. shut up.

i say y'all a lot.

7 comments:

gray la gran said...

vodka! yes ... we are cleaning the freezer and drinking vodka, in the name of cleanliness !

allegra918 said...

You crack me up Jackie! My whole HOUSE has become the top of your fridge! I am a clean person, but things have gotten out of control. I think for me the only way to regain control is to move out and start all over.....

Kristin said...

Resembles my life! Also it reminds me of one pathetic evening in college when Kimmie and I bid farewell to our roomies who were going OUT and we donned special Clean Team attire just to clean out the fridge. We were quite ridiculous about it...but losers who stay home and clean a fridge must have a certain level of mental affliction. Anyway, we threw out all sorts of moldy, disgusting things...we are sure something in there was the cure for some dread disease.

jpostonday said...

This is a relief. I thought we were the only folks who kept that much liquor and barely any food in the freezer.

Meredith said...

Is any of that vodka leftover from the beach? Because you could claim that some of it is simply being stored there until next summer... :)

jackie said...

jan, i had more food in there, but i had to get rid of it to m ake room for the BOOZE!

Laura said...

AGH!! hehe The comments!! I'm cracking up! Too funny. hehe

I totally know that feeling. One vase and then two hours later... you had a wild hair and it's completely reorganized and cleaned up. That's virtually the only way I clean ANYTHING! heh But especially the refrigerator. :)